The Most Serene Republic of Elephant Bill Land is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Babar Zphant with a fair hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, absence of drug laws, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.217 billion Elephant Bill Landians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Trunktonia. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Elephant Bill Landian economy, worth a remarkable 1,118 trillion Francs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 136,067 Francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sharing vacation pictures requires written consent from the entire beach resort, children's TV shows are having a gay old time, male politicians lose their jobs for staring too long at their female counterparts, and explosive diarrhoea is not just a colorful phrase. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elephant Bill Land's national animal is the Elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Elephant Bill Land is ranked 9,867^th in the world and 436^th in The North Pacific for Most Cultured, scoring 120 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.